All This Time
by Flutterbypav
Summary: He's been missing for so long, leaving Blaine with the thoughts of the past, bombarding him as he as he rediscovers the place where everything was once alright where everything was right. Lightly based on Somewhere Only We know.
1. Chapter 1

Three years today. Three years since I last saw him. Three years since his smile lit up my world; Three years since I last had a good nights sleep; Kurt had been my everything, and now he was _gone_. Gone just like that. I should have noticed something; I should have noticed that he was looking a bit off. His smile wasn't quite the same but I just thought the work at Dalton was getting to him.

I didn't think it was possible for the pain to get worse.

After we graduated Dalton we had made so many plans to travel and go to college in New York, but now they seem so distant. After he went missing I couldn't cope, my parents thought I should get out there; get a job, meet some new people, have a life but I just _couldn't_. I moved out of their house and I found I place of my own near the city, trying to get away from all the pitiful faces, glances and words.

* * *

><p><em>I could hear my phone ringing, telling me Kurt was on the other end. Sighing I pick it up, hoping that everything was okay.<em>

"_Kurt? What's up?" I answered. There was silence on the other end of the line; I looked back down to the screen to see if he was still there. "Kurt?" I called again._

"_Sorry," He chuckled stiffly. "Was working on… the computer you know checking up on the new fashions." He sounded very reserved, not how he usually would when talking about clothes. _

"_It's okay, what did you want to talk about?"_

"_Just wanted to hear your voice I guess." I laughed and lay down on my bed relaxing a bit. I talked to him for a few hours about anything and everything, quickly falling into our normal rhythm of midnight phone calls._

_We talked about the next up coming competition, wondering who was going to get the next solo, both hoping it was the other. I talked about how Finn had finally stood up to __Karofsky, only to have Kurt fall silent after that. I began to hum a distant song feeling the drossiness kick in._

"_I love you Kurt." I murmured, nuzzling in to my pillow._

"_Love you too Blaine, sleep tight." I could hear sadness in his voice; I didn't know why it was there. Before I could ask I heard a sob and I sprang up but couldn't get a word in before the phone hung up. I pressed redial as fast as I could only to get his voice mail. I tried this over and over again but to no avail. _

_The next day I drove to Kurt's house _pounding_ on the door. Burt opened the door with a scorned look on his face still dressed in his pyjamas._

"_Yes?" He asked bluntly. I swallowed hard and look him right in the eyes not caring how much trouble I got in, I just wanted to see Kurt._

"_Is Kurt here sir?" I asked trying my best to be polite and stay calm. Burt stood there looking at me for a few seconds before turning around and shouting up the stairs._

"_Kurt! Kurt! Get down here, there's someone here to see you!" We wait but no reply or body showed up. "Kurt!" Burt shouted one last time. "Wait here I'll be back in a second." He called back to me. I nodded turning and leaning against the door frame. I looked around me and noticed something missing from the front of the house. My throat got a bit tight, by now I could hear Burt coming down the stairs. As he got nearer to me I turned around._

"_He's gone." I whispered before Burt could say it first. His face seemed to gain a few emotions never settling for just one._

"_How do you know, boy?" He barked. _

"_His car is gone."_

* * *

><p>I tossed in my bed for what felt like the hundredth time. I sleep if I successfully ever get an hour at night, and when I do sleep it was either watching Kurt slip further away from me in my dreams or our special place that seems so distant. I can remember playing there with Kurt as a child running around this big open forest and field and feeling so free.<p>

* * *

><p>"<em>Blaine! Wait up," Kurt yelled from behind me. "My legs are tiny!"<em>

_I let a laugh slip through my lips as I stopped and turned around, seeing just how far he really was behind me_.

"_Come on, you do this all the time, and it takes forever to get there." I whine, picking up a few strands of over grown grass that were just within reach, fiddling with the strands while he waited for the __automatic sarcastic __come back. _

"_Well I'm sorry but I like taking things slow and we have all day anyway…" He shot back. We were old enough to come here on our own, our parents saying that we knew this place like the back of our hands that we shouldn't get lost, but if something did happen we had to find a place to go to that we both knew just in case._

"_Yes, I know that but I would like to spend the rest of our time there instead of wasting it trying to get there Kurt." I huff out as he catches up with me, dropping the grass and holding out my hand, smiling down at him hoping he knew I was only being _mildly_ serious. Squeezing my hand in return and smiling back I knew there was no hard feelings._

_We where headed towards the entrance of the clearing, the green leaves of the trees seemed to give off a very calming sense of peace. The trees have to be around seventy feet tall, tightly nit together while the trunks showed their tall dark bark. The sun broke through anything that seemed to be of a questionable nature. _

_Once we made it past the mile-and-a-half wide forest the clearing was something to be desired, showing its inner beauty to the sky above. With the noise of the river bouncing off the surrounding trees and the vast stretch of grass land as far as the eye could see. Wild flowers of different addortments scattered around the place as if painted in to blend with the background trees._

* * *

><p>That was when I decide that I had to go there. In the back of my mind I had been telling myself to go but I never thought I could face it, but right now I felt like I could. I slipped out of bed, threw on my coat and shoes and raced down the stairs, grabbing my keys as I hurled out the front door towards my car. My chest felt like it was constricting around me as I sped up.<p>

After an hour of driving, I slowed down pulling the car up on the side of the road and resting my head on the steering wheel, my chest beginning to heave knowing I was so close to the place we used to spend most of our time. Happy memories began to flood my mind, and I felt like the tears I was holding back would burst through. I tried to steady myself as I opened the car door, the fresh night air hitting off my face as I stepped out, bracing myself for what I was about to do. As I began to walk, I looked up at the surrounding trees that created a protective circle around what used to be paradise for Kurt and Iwhen we were younger.

As I pushed past the overgrown trees, and I found the path where we used to run through hand in hand to reach our paradise, laughing as we tried to beat each other to the centre of our magical place. A place where no one could harm us.

The path ahead seemed to glow as I recalled these memories, making the dark haunting trees seem less aggressive as they leaned toward me. I began looking around for the tree that Kurt and I had named; we vowed that if one of us got lost we would stand there until we were found, or if we came to visit this place we would scratch the bark, with a 'B' or a 'K' As the tree came into view I could see the paradise out of the corner of my eye.

My emotions were beginning to overflow, but nothing could have prepared me for what I was seeing in front of me. I could see the old marks on the tree and I smiled wistfully at them and as I looked down I could see new lines. Tears springing to my eyes my knees began to tremble as I moved my hand over the carved letters. I pulled out my pen knife and made a profound 'B' under the last letter. I couldn't stop looking at his letters. He had been here. _Kurt_ had been here.

I began to feel lighter as I turned around and headed toward the opening of the field. As I neared the edges I could hear the river flowing at the centre. I tensed up and began to feel adrenaline flow through my legs as I ran; I ran as fast as I could returning to the child like behaviour to get to the centre before Kurt could.

Flickers of memories began to assault my mind as I neared the river, and I automatically slowed down like I always did, just enough to let Kurt fly past me and squeal in delight as he beat me. I would smile and flop down beside him, asking him what he wishes to do on this fine morning. He would throw his head back and laugh, lying down to look up at the sky. Saying as long as it involves us being together he wouldn't care.

Shaking my head I began to lower myself down. Resting my head on the grass I looked into the water as it flowed by thinking of the times we had spent here. The sound of the river calmed me as I could feel myself begin to drift of to sleep, the peacefulness feeling wonderful.

* * *

><p>"<em>Blaine! STOP I…I can't. Stop it! I mean it!" Kurt giggles uncontrollably.<em>

"_Really? You want me to stop?" I whisper as I roll over stopping the tickle fight. _

_We lay there for a while the lull of the wind passing through the trees all around us. I began humming a meaningless tune and let my eyes wonder over the landscape. Kurt grabbed my hand and held tight, smilling as a solo bird flew above our heads and nesting into the evergreen trees. The land around us seemed to stay still as it always did making us feel that this green and flowering land was only ment for us. The trees looked glossy as the sun shown on them and the river sparkled beside us, crickets could be heard further down the field while the birds seemed to fit in with their tune._

"_This will always be our place, wont it?" Kurt asks in a serious tone. Making me realize he meant it._

"_Yes, always, its part of our puzzle." I sigh and I roll over again to look at him grinning as I do._

* * *

><p>I gasped as I woke up. <em>It felt so real<em>, by now I could feel the unshed tears I had been holding in fall. I cried in earnestnow I couldn't stop them. Kurt had left and it felt like he was never going to come back.

I felt like I wanted to scream to the heavens asking where he was. I got up angrily and glared around the field. This place had held all of out secrets and our cherished moments and right now it only seemed to smile mockingly back at me. I feel like I'm alone in this world; like I'm ageing so fast with nothing to help ease the pain. I need something, someone to help me.

"Kurt," I whisper out just hoping he can hear me where ever he is. "I want you back; I want to be with you again. I can't fight against this world without you. My sleepless nights are making me so tired and I don't think I can cope anymore. You're my everything and you always have been. Kurt, if you can hear me, please come back to me; tell me where to find you, anything- please!" My voice crocus, my emotions beginning to overwhelm me as a mixure of emotions began to overwhelm me.

I fall to my knees, I can feel myself fall apart- like there is nothing else I can do. I can feel the salty tears flowing from my eyes unable to stop them.

The trees around me seem to be looking at me and it feels like Kurt is still here, looking at me though worried eyes wondering why I am so upset.

I could see the sun begin to rise as I settled down by a tree. Looking over the rest of the field, I could visualise myself running around in front of my eyes and Kurt sitting there laughing at my antics.

* * *

><p>"<em>Kurt…" Not even I could think of what I was going to say as he stopped to look at him with a questioning glance. "I love you" I spoke out. <em>

_The grin that appeared on his face was enough to make my heart beat faster and fill with more love than I though possible._

"_I love you too Blaine, I always will."_

* * *

><p>Maybe I shouldn't have come here. My mind drifts back to our tree. Kurt had been here, so why had he not come back to see me? Had I done something wrong? Was he hurt? Did he even consider how hurt and alone <em>I <em>was?

Rubbing my fists against my eyes, I let out a frustrated groan. The last time I was here, Kurt and I were laughing and making jokes in the shining sun, without a care in the world, now the rising sun felt somewhat dull. When we used to watch the sun rise it felt so magical; so heart warming but now it feels so _gut wrenching_.

I _knew_ this was a bad idea. I got up and began to walk back to the river, and as I looked in the water I thought I saw a flicker of red. I tried to see if it was a stray fish, walking on further down the bank, at a slow pace trying my best to see it again. When it appeared again, I realised it wasn't a fish. It was a reflection.

My heart began to beat uncontrollably and I froze.

"Blaine…"

_Hope you enjoyed it!_

_A lot of this was also done with help from my friend Kitty! Helping with grammer and making it sound right and not all mixed up!_

_xox_


	2. Chapter 2

"_Isn't it perfect?" I said sighing, looking over the snow covered land. Even though Kurt and I had known about this place for years we never thought of coming here in the winter._

"_It is. I think I've fallen in love with this place all over again." I glanced up to see him look around the sparkling landscape. His faced showed nothing but pure joy and as he looked down at me, his face softened and putting arms around my waist he leaned into me._

_The trees where heavy laden with snow and icicles, giving off and an almost picturesque feel of a Christmas wonderland. The sky was a deep grey giving off the feel that we were truly cut off from the rest of the world; almost like a small snow-globe with the snow gently falling around us. Looking over to the river I wondered if it was frozen over._

"_Kurt, come with me for a second."_

"_Why?" Without replying I just grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the river, grinning as I looked down to see the ice covering the whole thing, it looked pretty thick. I jumped down and nearly fell backwards as I realized Kurt hadn't let go of my hand. Steadying myself I turned around to look at him. _

_With a face of shock he yelled, "What are you doing?" Causing me to look down and shift my feet a bit._

"_I was going to skate along the river?" I asked shyly while tipping my head up to see if he was still mad at me._

"_Oh, well why didn't you just say that in the first place?" He laughed. I grinned at him and held out my hand for him._

* * *

><p>"<em>Kurt? Kurt!" I shouted. The breeze was beginning to lightly nip at my skin while I stood waiting for him to finish getting ready. "It really shouldn't take you that long!" I called exasperated.<em>

"_You know how I feel about wearing swimming trunks Blaine." He answered while stepping out from behind some trees. I smiled as I took him all in. His beauty was not something you could take in without a grin appearing._

"_And I've told you more often than not that you… look… beautiful." With each word I took a step forward till just within his reach and wrapped my arms around his slightly shivering body._

_Letting go after awhile I looked up at him slightly and raised an eye brow wondering if he was going to rebuff me, but he smiled back and we both began to walk towards the river._

* * *

><p>I froze. I didn't know what to do. My whole body seemed to have turned hyper sensitive, as if I was to run away. With my head beginning to get light I began to turn around.<p>

The rising sun was giving off an orange glow around the body standing in front of me, making this almost seem dream like. Not knowing what to do I stand there holding my breath, tears springing back into my eyes and my chest constricting, as I remembered the last time I saw him.

* * *

><p><em>I could hear a door slam from downstairs and I sat up from my bed. Thumping continued up the stairs till they reached my door and I froze, this couldn't be good.<em>

"_Kurt? Is that you?" I called out hoping that he wasn't as angry as the loud noises let on. _

_When no reply came I sprang up getting instantly worried. Running till I reached the door I pulled it open, looked around, I could see nothing down the long corridor of golden and red colours. Feeling my eye brows pull together in confusion and slight worry I began to move forward only to find something stopping me. _

_As I looked down I saw Kurt's shoulders heave and shake. _

"_Kurt! Kurt, are you okay? Please talk to me, come here baby." I rushed out pulling him into my arms, rocking him gently. _

"_I… I'm sorry Blaine…" He began to sob harder and he grabbed my shirt curling the fabric tightly in his hands. _

"_Kurt, shush, I'm here for you. Come on, let's get you moved." I tried to pull him up and managed to half carry half pull him to my bed, setting him down I pulled the covers over him and laid beside him. _

"_I tried to… be brave… Blaine, really I did, I swear…" Choked sobs broke through his sentence and I began to rub his back in hope that I could give him some sort of comfort. _

"_Kurt, even thinking of doing it was brave enough. What happened when you got there?" I asked feeling dread fill me as he froze and there was long pause before I heard him speak up. _

"_He wasn't there." Kurt's voice seemed to turn emotionless which filled me with me with ice cold terror. _

"_Are you sure?" I whispered, hoping to show him I was there for him and I always have and will be, through thick and thin. _

"_I'm sure." That was when I realized that his strong hold on my shirt had been let go and he seemed to shut everything around him out._

* * *

><p>"Kurt?" My voice seemed to be working but I honestly couldn't be sure if I had even said that out loud.<p>

I could hear a light, strangled laugh coming form the figure ahead of me; the sun still obscuring my view.

"Blaine, is that really you?" A few seconds seemed to pass before the ground seemed to connect with my back.

Letting out a small 'Oomph', I tried to get a hand on what was happening. My mind still not processing what was going on.

"Kurt?" I asked again. "Kurt! Kurt, what… what's going on? Is that really you?" The body on me seemed to press down harder and I could start to feel the breath in me leave faster and faster.

"Oh, Blaine it's me! I'm so sorry… so sorry…" He began to sob uncontrollably. The place around me began to shake far to much for my liking but I began to realize that it was both Kurt and I that were shaking; tears running down my face and my body gasping for much needed air, I tried to sit up but there was no strength in me and I just didn't want to move.

"Kurt." I caressed his name like I was holding the most precious object ever created. He moved slightly seeming to know what I needed. I began to sit up never letting my grip lessen on the boy who I haven't seen in three years.

Neither of us moved nor spoke a word: both just trying to soak up as much of the other as possible, sobs still breaking through as the sun began to rise higher in the sky. Once the sun was almost at the top of the sky my eyes seemed so heavy but i managed to keep them open. I needed to know"

"Kurt, you need - I need to know... what happened to you?"

* * *

><p><em>I would like to say another thank you to Kitty for helping me with this one again!<em>

_And also this below is a link to her AMAZING story! _

http: /www. fanfiction . net / s/ 6768642 / 1/A_ Few_ of_ my_ Favourite_ Things


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